The totally brilliant, fantastic, amazing, mind-boggling life of Dixie
by ImBritishNotPosh
Summary: Meet Dixie, weird, wonderful and all around mad! Join her in her final year at Hogwarts along with her three best; and one not so best friends. Rats, Merlin's right hairy nipple, Sirius, Marauders, fire, fluff, Sirius, elves, school, romance, madness. Oh, and did I mention Sirius. Reposted.
1. Meet Dixie!

"Oi Dixie, you listenin'?"

No, Sirius Black, I am not listening. Not at all.

In fact I'm thinking about why Wormtail got the _privilege _to be such a beautiful animal. Seriously, (no pun intended) I love rats, their one of my favourite animals; despite their red eyes and creepy as merlin's tails. I don't (and will never) understand why _Peter Pettigrew _is able to transform, at will, into a rat, while little miss Dixie over here is stuck as a 'red panda'. And yes, the apostrophes were needed. The so called panda doesn't even look like a panda! And I am not ginger! I am red headed; bright red, if you must know. Just because I'm not a muggle doesn't mean I don't know how to use hair dye. Oh I just owned your thoughts.

Back to Pettigrew, de doesn't deserve to be a rat! Rats are all white and fluffy and small and harmless and… well everything he's not!

I wonder how to rat feels to have peter inside the rats, rat body. Wait, that didn't make sense.

Well I don't get called Dixie for nothing.

Personally, I think Peter well should have been a Geoduck, or a Sea Pig, or a Matta Matta, or a Wrinkled Faced Bat. Oh no, that's reserved for McGonagall. Shh!

Merlin twisted beard, you don't know who I am do you?

Bad Dixie, I should slap you in the face. Okay, now the lads are looking at me weird. Maybe I should slap them for doing that… No I can't. So why is my hand moving towards James and whacking him… now Remus… And Sirius, oh, oh he looks mad. I hit Pettigrew the hardest of course, that's what you get for stealing my well-deserved rat- the blobfish.

Anyway, I'm Dixie. Obviously not my real name, but I can't tell you something I've never told the lads.

Okay I can.

Fooled you!

I bet you're sad now, please cry. Kidding!

But I'm not telling you my name.

No way.

Never.

…

_It's Amber. _

DIXIE!

I never could keep a secret.

Que titles…

We don't have any titles.

You can hate me now.

Actually, don't hate me before you know me. Say that in a way that all the crazy Americans do.

Back to me…

I'm Dixie!

Did I already tell you that?

Whatever. I got my name in first year when I met James, Sirius, Remus and Pettigrew. They have nicknames too, but if you don't already know them, then you know where you can shove it.

Sirius came up with the name after we all found out how incredibly limited I am at magical theory. Not that I can't cast spells and all that witchy business, I just forget those spells quite quickly. I swear I share the same DNA as a fish, even though I have never actually seen one. Strange.

I'm half Irish, half British, so I have the best of both worlds. 'Cause we are the best… in the world. Did you feel that dramatic pause?

I'm still waiting for my granddad to bring me a leprechaun back from Ireland. We'll do the Irish dance together.

One thing I am glad about not being fully Irish is I don't talk, and sound like a gypsy. Not that I have anything against them but when I was in year 5 I sat next to a gypsy and he copied my work all the time! I'm still holding that grudge 7 years later, at sixteen.

Ginger Gino.

As you can see, I'm not good with insults. His name wasn't even Gino, It was Liam.

I love gingers. Once, I bleached my hair and it went bright orange.

So, I live in England, Obviously, where else am I gonna live.

Wales? They have English and Welsh on their signs and it really annoys me, even more than English people not drinking tea. Embrace your culture.

Scotland? I don't wanna see old men's kilts flying up and showing me their doo dah and bouncy balls. I am not a voyager, thank you very much. Even though if they were young, it might just be a different story.

My minds going now.

I'm drooling.

The boys are staring again. I didn't answer Sirius' question did I? Nope. Well Sirius, despite your hunk of manliness I am speaking to my viewers through my mind. Even though my viewers don't care enough 'cause I don't have titles!

He's waving his hand in front of my face and it's making me go dizzy. He should be a hypnotize when he grows older. At least then he won't get hurt, I don't wanna have to go to his funeral unless I'm a ghost. He needs to live as long as he can with me and yes, that includes forever.

I know what you're thinking. I have eyes; not very good ones. But glasses are ugly (don't tell James I said that!) and contacts make my eyes hurt. Hold on… why would I need eyes to know what you're thinking, I can't see you! Silly Dixie.

Weren't we, I mean me, talking about my life. Yes I was.

I'm from Rochdale, In Manchester. So I know how to handle myself.

One time this girl I didn't like come close to me and I thought she was gonna hit me, so I hit her first and blood went all up the wall. Fun times.

Also these dudes came to my house with a spade so I chased them down the street in my teddy bear pyjamas and they ran off!

I must be one scary chick.

My parents are complete opposites. My dad is in a heavy metal band. They're not famous or nothing, they just sing in pubs. They shouldn't even do that really, they're awful. They can't even scream; it just comes out all girly.

One benefit though is that I feel all hard going around telling people when I was a baby I would only fall asleep listening to _Slipknot. _Yeah, I was even a baby rock chick.

My dad knows a lot of hippies, so you could say he lives the hippy/rocker lifestyle. Or are they the same thing?

I swear I'm so used to the smell of weed I don't even smell it anymore. Which I don't like cause I do love the smell- life's disappointments.

Smoking weed has sort of backfired on him now though. He has a brain tumour, epilepsy and paranoia. All common when smoking joints.

His family are like him, all heavy metal, weed smoking rockers.

My second cousin dad is actually one of the Costello's, a family of drug dealers.

My family is very big, which I love!

My mams family are more uptight.

There's my mam, who phrases everything with _'such fun'_ and basically only cares about her luncheons, or whatever there called. She's a celebrity stalker and changes her laugh every month to match a song and make it sound posh.

She has a habit of saying secret insulting sentences wrong. She whispers the part that isn't insulter and shouts the insulting part. How she doesn't know she's doing that I will never understand.

She's old, yet she still plays tennis with those up your arse dresses they wear and asks me advice on thongs. She got the thong the wrong way round and tortured me with details of how much it brought her _pleasure._ Disgusting I know.

I still haven't got round to testing that bit of information out yet...

I'm in my seventh year at Hogwarts and in Gryffindor, for reasons unknown. It can't be bravery 'cause I jump at shadows. It could be courage, but then again I don't like confrontation, so maybe not. Nerve? Possibly, I do come out with things nobody else would say. Doesn't chivalry mean like warriors and stuff? I'd be a great warrior and stuff. Is daring like truth or dare, 'cause I do every dare. I even slept with Sirius as a dare in sixth year, something I still think about. Though I doubt he does.

Even if I'm completely wrong about what they mean I could have been put in this house 'cause I I love lions. There up there with the rats. Stupid Pettigrew.

Does anybody else think Godric Gryffindor looks like Hagrid? And look at his face, his face looks like Lucius Malfoy. Merlin's crispy arse, imagine if them two had a kid. I'm shudderin'

Basic little facts about me.

My favourite colour is actually green- Slytherin green. Don't start.

I've had a little bit of a crush on Lucius Malfoy since fourth year. C'mon people, I bet you've imagined him in his silky green boxers too!

I hate flowers. If you send me some, they will be cursed and sent back to you.

I have a bit of an obsession with hats.

My favourite year was the sixty's. Just look at the hair.

My favourite food is Sunday dinners. But if you put any form of veg on the plate, apart from carrots and turnips, I will cut you.

I believe Britain is the best country in the world. Say it's not and once again, I will cut you.

I want to live to one hundred just so I can get a letter of the Queen.

I am a prostitute… or is that protestant?

I have to live on council estates or I don't feel like I belong.

I am the only female that will ever be in the marauders. Ever! I mean it you.

For some reason girls don't like me. I've never done anything to them. This is why I get into so many fights.

I love scissors. I never was your normal witch who uses her wand.

I'm a muggleborn, I think. I don't actually know. I've never asked.

I WANT MY ANIMAGUS FORM TO BE A RAT!

Stupid Peter. Go suck on Merlin's hairy nipples.

That's it, You might find out more as we go on. Maybe. Probably.

Can you keep a secret?

_Yes you will._

"We should pour water over her hair"

I jerked my hair up and looked at James in false distaste, "My hair will run! My beautiful golden locks!"

I don't have golden hair or even blonde hair actually.

How could he. I can't believe they James would even think of pouring water over my hair. And, I bet it would be cold. He knows I hate cold water, its cold. I'll never be my own person if he does that.

I'm hyperventilating even though I don't know what it is.

I look at Remus in sadness, my eyes hopefully conjuring helplessness in an effort to make him feel sorry for me. But it doesn't work. He starts laughing. _Laughing IN MY FACE! _So does Pettigrew, why can't he get turned into a worm, I don't like them! He doesn't deserve to be a rat. I look over the Sirius and hear his barking laugh. It's almost too cute that I can't feel angry at him… But not that cute.

Eventually Sirius give his laughs a rest, "He's not actually gonna pour water over you Dix." He said in mock comforting-ness; I don't think that's a word.

He pulled me into his said and the girl in me squealed. In me people. That's not actually me, well it is but only inside and nobody can see in there, apart from the physco's who cut people up. I'm speaking about surgeons here.

But y'know what, I don't care. I leaned into his side and sniffed his sweaty smell (we just had quidditch practice) and decided that I liked it. And you can't- and don't, 'cause you don't know what he smells like. I do though so you can all go and weep into Merlin's left armpit 'cause you know you wanna. He's worth it.

"Did you just sniff me?" Sirius asked chuckling.

I jumped up and open my mouth in that offended way people do, "Yes, and don't you go moaning 'bout it Black 'cause you're a dog and you sniff around things all the time! You piss on trees and sniff just to you can mark your territory you dog! That's mingin'… I'd do it too though! But I can't can I hmm? I'm just a stupid red fox, who's not even red 'cause I'm a ginger! A ginger Minger! That's all my fox is and even though I'm foxy, obviously, I am not ginger! I have red hair and that is that! I was just sniffing you but you know I can't go round sniffing things like you do 'cause you're a dog and I'm not, so don't ask me am I sniffing you 'cause I can't even sniff right 'cause I'm not a dog, even though I would love to be! Dogs are there with rats and Lions and I can't even be them 'cause I aint good enough. Stop laughin'!"

My chest heaved; I think that's the word. You know up and down, up and down, like a see saw. Except I'm not on a see saw cause I'm on the ground… in the common room and I'm not outside… or in a park. Oh shut up!

James and Remus are still sat down and holding their belly's laughing while Pettigrew had ran off, he was doing that a lot these days. Sirius pulled me back down and into his chest. I heard it rumbling, he was probably laughing but I'm hungry so it's making me think of food... hmmm waffles.

"You're so confusing," He mentions, "You can sniff me all you want Dix."

"I don't want to, you stink of sweat."

"But you just did." Reminding James and mockingly began sniffing Remus' armpits.

I ticked my jaw stood back up walking towards the door. I just know the boys were looking at me walking away, so I turned round, clueless people, so thick. "It's a nice smell! C'mon then, I'm Hungry."

They mustn't respect me 'cause they started laughing again before jumping up and following me. But, they should respect me; I bring them joy, like all the time.

Stupid boys, and their stupid laughing, and stupid things that stupidly happen that they stupidly notice.

Stupid.

Stupid Merlin.

No, he's not stupid. I bet he has pink and blue spotty neon Boxers.

Ohhh My Merlin.

…

**Arhhh! Yes, first chapter complete!**

**Sorry if there's any mix up between tenses.**

**This story has been inspired by my personality mixed with BBC's Miranda's personality. **

**First chapters quite boring I know, I just wanted you to get to know her a bit.**

**Sorry if anybody is out of characters!**

**Hope you liked it!**


	2. Homework Fire

Oh, you're back again?

Say that in a preppy voice.

'Ahh, Hoe you're baaack bitch.'

Was that preppy? I didn't think so.

So you've returned to my very wonderful life, and frankly, you should be very glad I've let you back into my life.

Kidding!

Of course I'd let you back in.

Yesterday, me and the lads did another one of our pranks! We decided that ol'Dumble's needed a bit of a makeover…

Don't worry; we didn't shave his beard off. That thing is a classic. Plus it's flaming wicked; I want a beard. Maybe I should grow one, I do really like them, and personally, I think I would rock a beard. Beards a lovely name isn't it? I might call my first child Beard- pronounced 'Bird'. Ah, his nickname could be 'Flyaway'. Wouldn't that be amazing? He'd be a boy, of course. Me and girls don't get along so well.

Merlin had a beard. It wasn't as thick as 'Dumbles was like, but it was still a beard.

I would die if I met Merlin. He is my idol! We'd get along so well.

Says her.

Ha ha, did you get it?

Merlin's big, round earlobe! Dixie! Don't try to be funny, you're not!

If you think so, mind.

Anyway, me and Merlin would literally, be best mates. We would go to Hogsmeade and go Zonkos-

Oh I love Zonkos; Zonkos has the best pranking gear in the world! Is Zonkos a real person?

Merlin is. But I think he's dead, so we might only get to meet in the afterlife. Isn't that sad. Seriously, I want to cry.

But anyway, this makeover did not do anything to his beard- although I would have loved it if we took his beard off and transferred it to my face. That image will forever be painted in my mind…

Even though we didn't take his beard off we did do something to it.

Can you guess?

You're not gonna to guess are you?

WE DIED HIS BEARD BRIGHT ORANGE!

And I don't mean ginger orange, I mean BRIGHT ORANGE!

Then we wrote our names in it and put our signature 'M' at the bottom.

We also painted his face like a clown. A nice, cute clown, 'cause I don't like scary clowns. Plus, 'Dumbles is a cute old man. Don't say he's not old 'cause he's like a gazillion years old tomorrow… or whenever his birthday is. I need to find that out and throw him a birthday party to end all birthday parties.

I think what I liked the most about the prank was giving his robes a change. We put naked butler robes on him. Y'know like those aprons? Yeah, it showed of him bum an' everythin'; an' what a nice bum his has.

He's cool, Dumbledore is.

He didn't even care, he just smiled and laughed with that annoyingly sparkly, tingle, twinkle in his eye. Why can't my eye twinkle like that?

Even when Slughorn tried to give us detention, good ol'Dumble's said no. This dudes gonna give a speech at my funeral.

Boggledy, Woggledy!

I'm bored.

It's really hard to concentrate when you know that Sirius Black is snoggin' another bird in a broom cupboard.

Not that I care!

Phtttttt….

No, I don't care what Sirius is doin'.

Course I don't.

It's not like I like him or summat stupid.

No.

Not in a million years.

No!

Never!

It's just that now I have the mental image of him sucking a girl's face off in my head, and him enjoying it. A smile on his face as she bites on his neck, leaving him a sucker.

Pure ecstasy.

But no, I don't care. At all, I swear.

Not that I even have to have his face stuck in my mind either. It's just… imbedded?

I just don't want him getting hurt 'cause he's my friend and I care about him.

Not in that way you dolts!

Yeah, but that's why I can't concentrate on my homework McGonagall so kindly set.

Except she never sets anything kindly 'cause she's a skank and she knows it.

As you can tell I'm angry.

Prob'ly 'cause Moony and Prongs are on head boy and prefect duty's. I don't know why I didn't get picked to be a prefect- I'm amazing, in and out of lessons.

You believe me don't you?

If you don't I'll kick you right back to Berlin, or wherever you bloody came from.

Be afraid pillows, be very afraid.

That's my nickname for you! Pillows!

I am **OBSESSED** with pillows; I love 'em so much.

Somethin' me an' Merlin have in common, I bet.

There just so… soft! And fluffy! And sensitive, they have dried all of my tears that have landed on them over the years and are always there to cuddle. Or 'cuggle' as I say.

Really though, the homework she set us is so hard. And nobody will help me! Nobody's here like…

Pettigrew's asleep. I hate that dude. I don't like him when he's awake but then he has to go and leave me on my bill when everybody else is doin' somthin'.

This is why he doesn't deserve to be a rat. Rats are loyal, somethin' he obviously isn't. I should be a rat, I'm loyal and I keep people company and love others just like rats. We're very alike, we're nice and amazing and generous until you hurt us and then our eyes turn red and we bite, using our tails to scare you off. Not that I have a tail.

But if I did, it would well be coming out of my bum hole, just so then I don't have to poo again.

Even though sometimes I like having a poo.

Okay I always like having a poo.

I would describe it, but I think we all have an infatuation we our poo's, so we all know the attachment. It's like giving birth; you love that poo from the minute it's out… But you never see it again.

For the ones who don't have an infatuation with their shites, I won't describe it, just for you.

Give me a cheer.

We have to write a 5 inch essay on 'How To Transfigure Bigger Objects'.

What does that even mean?

How do we do that?

Time for a song…

How do we do, how do we do, how do we transfigure objects never mind bigger ones.

That little rhyme was true.

Transfiguration is my worst subject, ever!

The only time I was able to transfigure something properly was when I blackmailed Prongs into helping me cheat. He transfigured the object with my wand and I took the credit.

I wish I didn't have to do this homework.

Boo hoo!

…

I've got an idea!

I'll bite it!

I rolled the parchment up in my hands and bit it like I would a fajita. I pushed my teeth into the sheets as hard as I could and wiggled my head about to get that extra crunch.

I never knew before that parchment would taste salty…

Then I remembered that I already tried this 'method' of _OPERATION HOMEWORK GET RID OF _WITH Sirius and ripped my teeth away.

Merlin's sweaty bum cheeks.

Stupid Sirius and his stupid dog switch, swatch and his stupid doggy teeth and stupid puppy doggy eyes and stupid, stupid, stupid.

What can I do now?

Then I remembered I'm in a common room with a fire and nearly screamed in excitement.

I could 'accidently' walk by and drop my _homework _into the fire. I could 'ave… tripped over… a book… and it tipped out of my hands and into the fire!

Yeah baby!

So I stand up and plop a book on the floor, that isn't mine 'cause I don't read, and walk over to it. I look past the book and accidently trip.

'Cause it was a planned trip I knew what was happening and rolled out of the way before I could fall into the fire.

But then I remember that I probably would 'ave fell into the fire.

I'm wearing a nightgown that's old and rumpled up so I don't think it'll mind that it's gonna die. I push the bottom of the sleeve over my hand and place it carefully (although I don't think it really matters if I do it carefully or not) into the top of the fire.

Conveniently I forget I'm wearing the nightgown so I look away proud of myself for such an idea. But then I feel hotness in my hand. And, youse know I'm not good at describing so I can't say what it felt like 'cause I already don't actually remember- even though it was only a few seconds ago.

I scream like a girl (of course I was you idiots, I am a girl. I would love to be a rat though… or, or a penguin 'cause there up there with my Rats and dogs and lions) and jump up hopping around, thinking it's gonna go out.

It doesn't.

I remember in muggle studies somthin' about a drop, roll, jump and kick.

It's quite confusing how you're supposed to do them all at the same time but I try!

I drop onto the floor and roll around like a type of animal that I don't know the name of. Now I'm on my back but I try to to do a little jump. I push up with all my **might **and all my dumbo of a back manages to do is an arch. Silly back.

So it doesn't work. I stand up rip of my nightgown, ignoring the pain. 'Cause that's what I do, 'Imma fighter people.

I throw my nightgown on the floor thinking it'll go out but as soon as it hits the floor the carpet catches fire. I scream some more and jump around- I can't run outside 'cause the Fat Lady'll tell on me. So I fall to the floor and wait to die when I hear the door slam open and Sirius run inside.

He sees me on the floor in shorts and top and stops for a second before looking at the fire and shouting aguamenti.

Why didn't I think of that?

"What are you doing Dix?" He shouts at me. He looks concerned, though I don't know why; he was the one who left me to go party it up with some s.l.u.t.

"I didn't wanna do my homework!"

"So you set fire to it!"

"No," I say simply, "I set fire to my nightgown, and you owe me a new one for not being here you traitor!"

…

**End of chapter 2!**

**Sorry if I switched between third and first person, it's not on purpose. **

**I uploaded this along with the first one on the same day. Just a fact.**

**What do you think of Dixie? **

**Tell me, tell me!**


	3. Chicken tasting lips?

**Hellooo! I am very sorry for not updating in nearly a month!**

**I do have a reason though so don't get angry!**

**I have been very ill for a few weeks and I went to the doctors and they told me I had lost a stone in a week, and so she sent me to hospital. **

**I do have anorexia and get very sick which is why the updates will not always be frequent. **

**Sorry for any spelling/grammar mistakes; I do miss a lot of school. I was going over my other chapters and noticed mistake so if anybody wants to be my beta then please PM me. **

_**Forever Siriusly Sirius – **_**Thank you so much for reviewing both chapters! I'm sorry but I don't think I will stop using the slag. But I will tone it down. The reason I use slang is because she is Northern and it's how we speak. I think that anything that can bring a person's accent into a story makes it more real (forgetting that she's magical). Plot and character interactions will be shown, I promise. Of course I want people to get to know her before the actual plot starts (whatever that will be), but she will show more seriousness and things in the future. It I sort of like a 1****st ****person diary. If you have ever watched 'Miranda' or 'Miss Brown's Boys' you will notice that some of the things they do they tell you and some, they show you- like talking into a camera. **

_**Em **_**– I loved your review! We're so alike! And I love knowing I made somebody laugh and that I do have humour; I thought I was just weird. Dude, I make imaginary scenes in my brain were I'm all violent and like "Yeah you're scared of me." Please don't hurt me!**

**I love that I share parts of my personality with people!**

**Is it stupid that I like Harry Potter but I don't actually like 'Harry Potter' or 'Hermione Granger'? Personally, I think it's partly his fault that he has a bad life. If he didn't keep putting himself in situations that put him in danger than his life wouldn't be half as bad. **

**Carry on.**

**...**

"Why are you looking at me like that? I'm serious here, don't think you can look at me with your mud like eyes and expect me to love you…You're horrible… And horrible to look at… You're so small… You're just not the right package for me…How far in do you think you'll get? You probably won't even reach the hole… I need pleasure; I need fun… We can't be together anymore… Do you understand that? Don't get upset, we're just too different, maybe one day we can be together again…Oh you've gone."

"Ahahahaha!"

I turned to the boys who were in bits over my heartbreak, and then turned my head all sorrow like to the little hole next to the fireplace where my eight legged companion ran off into.

How could he just run of like that… or was it a she?

Argghh! I could've gotten naked in front of a girl. My life is over!

Not really but did I make you feel sorry for me?

I knew it! It's just heart-breaking isn't it? When I'm sad?

"Dixie, you're hopeless!" Chuckled the one and only James Potter.

Yes I did just spit his name out distastefully.

"Oh am I?" I answered back… challengingly. I couldn't decide the word.

"Yeah."

"Well come at me hard boy!" Not that he's hard… In any sense of the word.

No-sir-eee.

Is that right?

Pull your face on the 'eee' part; like a fish hook pulling on your mouth, and open your eyes _really wide. _

What a sad life I have.

I can't really breathe right now in case you're wondering. I have arms around my neck, cutting of the air. Because we need air to live and breathe and James Potter must want me dead. Yeah I'm using your full name now ye' pleb.

As you can see I am fighting for my life right now (said in a posh voice).

Nobody is helping me.

Remus is in the library- most likely studying. I don't see him as a '_meet me behind the bookcase' _type, do you?

_PETTIGREW _is sat there looking_ BORED! _Can somebody please spit on him? As a rat too… just to see if it will change his animagus form into something more _suitable. _

If you know what I mean *wink* *wink*.

Sirius? Who's Sirius?

Oh yeah! The one sat on _my side of the couch_ laughing his head off!

I so don't like (like) _you _anymore.

I never could lie.

Have I said that before?

Hmmm?

I'm looking at you now all interrogating like.

I am so childish.

I bring my arm up as quick as a lightning bolt 'cause I'm just that quick.

Bang!

Oh a bird just flown into the window.

It's dead now.

Which is good 'cause it was a pigeon and I've been shat on way to many times.

I put my hand In James' hair and pull as hard as I can and he squeals like a girl.

No actually, he screams like a banshee.

I want a banshee, they're so cute!

Said like 'cee-ute'.

Maybe a should of asked my granddad to get me a banshee from Ireland.

We could jump around screaming and doing the hokey pokey, while my so called friends bow down and feed me grapes.

Sirius would be sucking on my toes.

Ergggh!

I don't even like toes… or feet, I can't even say the name. I have to say Wotsits. Do you get it? 'Cause Wotsits crisp are cheesy and so a feet.

No, no I didn't think it was funny either.

_I so did._

Jamesy pants shot up like erm… like when you drop a spoon into a bowl of cereal and the cereal jumps out?

Question marks are there for you to answer, so answer? Unless it rhetorical.

Will you know the difference?

"Prongs, you scream like a girl!" Sirius croaked out. It wasn't his usual manly voice. You know _the 'I'm Romeo' _voice.

I laughed and agreed sitting on Sirius' lap; he did take my seat! He swung his arms around me straight away and pulled me into towards his (very toned and hard) chest.

Basically I felt like I belonged there you know.

Not that I'm self-centred of anything, but I think he felt like that too. He stiffened, a total sign.

I dug my NORMAL SIZED head into his shoulder and sniffed up once again.

I noticed him sniffing me to. All hale my appreciation of Merlin's beautiful see-through boxers.

I should start a society.

"Wormtail?" James lifted Pettigrew up by the arm and pulled him towards the door, "They're sniffing and that's a sign of disaster. Let's go."

Surprisingly, Sirius didn't notice they had gone and continued his sniff fest. He will never be able to judge me for sniffing him again, and I told him just that.

He laughed teasingly (I'm so onto these words!), "I never judged to before Dix. It was sweet. And now I understand why you sniffed me; our smells are just irresistible."

"Well at least you understand how I feel."

He smirked and lifted his head up, "Do I though?"

He was looking at me with those gorgeous grey eyes and I sighed, why I can't think of anything but his eyes and words. Am I going mad?

"Ey?"

His eyes pierced me.

I think that's the word.

"Well you never really tell anyone how you feel, so I don't know how you feel about y'know me?"

"I think you can guess." I answered back

All jokey-ness and thought were gone. We've been best friends since we were eleven and have never been this close before.

He moved his eyes down to my lipstick stained lips and back up towards my eyes. Our hand crossed and heads leaned together.

"Yeah I can." He said before our lips met.

Weird, it felt exactly like those prince and princess kisses were described at.

He tasted of chicken.

I love chicken!

…

**Okay, okay it wasn't a funny chapter. **

**Forgive me, I'm out of practice. **

**I know some people will think they're going to fast, but they have known each other for nearly seven years with feelings that they haven't told each other. **

**Besides, I don't plan on this being a very long story. Maybe ten to fifteen chapters, because if it's anything less than that I'll probably lose interest.**

**I'm not JKR so they're not all going to be in character. Even if we don't exactly know how they acted. **

**Again there might be a few mistakes, sorry!**


	4. Lucius Malfoy?

Happy Easter! Or Happy Easter tomorrow or yesterday since you might be in a different time zone…

But obviously, I'm in my own times zone, which it is currently 36 minutes past 1 in the afternoon if you wanted to know. If you didn't then why did you read that?

Not a lot has been happening since I last updated Erm… My cousin started walking and my brother Oscar said his first word, which was mum. I got my hair cut short too, I quite like it but I miss long hair so currently I have extensions in. Also, I haven't been in my school lessons in a month (yes!) 'Cause I have autism and so I don't have too! Unfortunately, this means I'm failing _all _of my lessons, which also means I won't be able to do law or phycology when I go to college in 15 months; if I even get in. Finally, there has been a rumour going around school about me which basically puts me down as a slag. That's it anyway… not a lot, I told you.

_Reviews time!_

_Yesterday I got three new reviews which had made me happy since. They were lovely, as all my reviews are. So SpidersBlood, you are now my favourite reviewer so you're welcome _

_You think there's a plot! Aha! I didn't even know there was a plot yet but thank you for telling me I have made one! I'm glad I have made a small plot so far and make Dixie very random. Really? I need to thank you for thanking me for making your night- you made my night! _

_They did sleep together and you didn't think they were moving too fast? If you, or anybody else is wondering about Dixie and Sirius' relationship now then I can't answer it. Just because I write it as I go on, I don't have a plan or notes or nothing. So if they're not together in this chapter then obviously this is a Sirius/OC story and they will be soon. _

_I can't even remember their interactions to be honest, I'm gonna have to go back and read it, honestly I didn't like that chapter very much so I was very worried about what people would think…_

_YES! They're not out of character, woo! Yeah, it's how I imagine them too._

_Thank you for your concern; I actually don't know how I am. I know if I feel sick, obviously, but I haven't seen my councillor all month and nobody had told us anything else. I did find out that I now have a low white blood cell count though, which means it's easier for me to catch diseases and illnesses. _

_Yeah, I like the slang too! It's how we speak, I'm not from Manchester, but I am from St. Helens which is only down the link way. We speak near enough the same and we use a lot of the same slang. _

_I did think that her views of the Marauders was put out there too but I do find it hard to do James and Peter, since those are my least favourites. _

_I love her musings as well. I did write them haha_

**DONE!**

**Sorry the intro was so long!**

…_. _

Guess what?

I'm serious (Not Sirius… no definitely _not Sirius!)_.

Think or guess like a… like a… a… a wallaby!

Not that wallaby's can or think, or guess…

Or can they?

Maybe they're plotting secretly against us right now, planning to destroy the world and all 'uman kind!

Can you imagine an evil laugh plopping it's self in that sentence?

I'm cowering against my desk right now.

We're in History of magic.

It's boring, as you know. Wait… No you don't, don't lie to me! Never again!

Anyway, have you guessed yet?

No?

Do I have to do everythin' round here?

…Yes Dixie, yes you do.

I HAVE TITLES!

I'm just as excited as you are!

Believe me, I was jumpin' around too when I heard them.

Hold on mister's… or misses?

You can't see my titles; we're not on the telly…

Why did I even order James to make me some titles?

My mum warned me about this. She says that I always go over the top and buy things that I don't need.

Stupid I know.

I wish you could see my titles they're… oomph, I can't even explain how good they are.

Really, I can't, they're that good.

I'm sad now, even more depressed then I was before.

…Did I ask how you are?

No?

Well I'm doing it now.

How are you? People in my head.

I can't lie can I? I don't care how you are.

No, no I do!

…I really don't.

'_Flintstones. Meet the Flintstones. _

_They're the modern Stone Age family. _

_From the town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of history.'_

Sorry, it's stuck in my head… remember my parents aren't wizards.

Witches if you're a bird.

That's a girl.

Like some people say 'Gal' or 'Lass'.

Mostly, a 'Bird' is used as a lads girlfriend, but I like using it as a just a girl.

I love being called a bird.

It means I'll never be a housewife 'cause I can just fly away.

I know what you're thinking!

You're thinking that no one will ever be stupid enough to marry me.

Well you my not so much a friend, are completely and utterly wrong.

In fact, when I was just seven years old a boy called Bill asked me to marry him.

I said no, of course. His name was Bill and I could never marry someone called Bill!

We'd get called 'Dill' or 'Bixie'. Don't get me wrong, I love biscuits; I just don't think my name sounds right with 'Bill'.

Dixie and Bill.

Bill and Dixie.

See they sound so wrong!

Now, Sirius and Dixie on the other hand sound completely in sync!

I least, I think so.

So would Sirius if he would even look at me.

But he won't so…

Yeah, that upset me a bit.

It's just, he's always been honest with me yeah.

He's never let anybody hurt and has told me loads of times he would never hurt me.

Yet he went and done it.

It's been two week since we kissed and he won't even look at me.

Fair enough if he doesn't like me like that, I just don't understand why he doesn't even wanna be friends anymore.

Remus told me I'm being stupid. I don't know why, it seemed like he knew something I didn't.

Bloody hell!

I need to stop moping!

God, I need a distraction.

…

So I've found a distraction, but so has Sirius. Of course, he always has a new girl on his arm, so it's not really a distraction, just another play thing.

He needs a good slap!

Treating girls like animals.

Wait, aren't I the one that likes being called a bird.

I supposed I am someone's bird now though, aren't I?

Like a said, I found myself a distraction.

Someone who I know will annoy Sirius.

Someone who's only using me to try and get Narcissa to go out with him.

Someone whose fancy fellow's sister hates Sirius.

Someone called Lucius Malfoy.

…

Well wasn't that dramatic!

…

**Sorry it was so short, but I have 2 weeks of school so I can update more anyway.**

**Also, I know Lucius had already left school but for the purpose of this, they're the same age. **

**Next chapter will hopefully be better, the actual plot is coming!**


	5. He's angry

**So, I lied. **

**I told you that I would update more frequently during the Easter holidays; which I didn't. I sort of have a reason, yet I sort of don't. My granddad, broke up with his schizophrenic girlfriend, who has been in a mental home. Obviously, being in a mental home proves that she can do _mental _things, which she said she will do. He left, and we've had to keep going up to his home to see if he's okay and buy him some shopping, since he hadn't got his dole and... yeah. So, things went down and now he's got scars.**

**Actually, I was going to update on Friday, when I had a bug, but I slept most of the day so I didn't. **

**Back to the point, Easter was nearly a month away so I'm sorry I've not updated. **

**Furthermore, does anybody want to be my beta (asked for the second or third time)? The reason is, I'm **_awful_**at checking through my work! So, I don't notice all the mistakes I make until I've posted the chapter; And I make a lot of mistakes. When I have the paragraph or sentence in my head, I just type it as fast as I can without looking what I'm writing. Basically, I just look at the screen to make sure there's something there. **

**A few chapters ago, I got told I put 'you're' instead of 'your'. I do know the difference between the two and so, I'm sorry if I made the stupid mistake of putting 'you're' instead of 'your'. Include, 'to' and 'too' in that too- I do know the difference, I just get mixed up. **

**Also, I think I've sort of strayed, in terms of writing. I think the difference in writing from the 1st to the last chapter I did is massive, and I'm going to try and get the 1st chapter writing back if I can. Although, the chapters will be getting more serious now Dixie's messing around with Lucius; She's using him and he isn't going to like that. I have an idea in my head, about how it's going to play out, but I don't know if I'll do exactly that. If you have any ideas, just review or message me. I will put links of where you can message me underneath:**

**Katieo1998 **

** . com/ .7?ref=tn_tnmn **

** . net/ ~imbritishnotposh **

** understandthegeneration. .uk/ **

**generationkatie gmail .com**

**Or review... It's probably easier.**

_**SpidersBlood ~ I'm glad that you think that. I did a part of my English GCSE the other day and I'm sure I failed at the humorous, less serious story that I written. For some reason, I kept forgetting what third person was. I was like, I'm I like a narrator or am I the person but saying he/she/it. I was so confused! I did good on my other story though (the serious one). You have inspired me to write! It's what reviews do! Without them, I never end up finishing the story. In these upcoming chapters, she is going to be sad once again. What, with what will happen with Lucius and all; she's going to be very conflicted and questioning herself, talking herself out of questioning herself etc. **_

_**Oh he does! I think I've made Sirius the scared boy, if you get me. The one who has saw his family and doesn't want a family if it'll be like that. **_

_**This story is mostly about her thoughts. Of course, there will be some interaction but mostly it'll be what's going on in her head. **_

_**FFS/ Forever Siriusly Sirius ~ I love 'Dixius' and 'Dirius' urghh how can we choose!? **_

_**Remember to review! They make me happy all day, especially the long ones!**_

_**Sadly, this is also a filler chapter. I want to start the plot on the next chapter because it doesn't seem to fit in on ths one. It is just about 500 words of her thoughts. **_

_**Look on the bright side though, less words mean more chapters. **_

…

I never really though I would be this type of girl.

… I there actually a 'type' of girl though? Or are we all just the same.

Either way, I didn't think I would ever let a lad tell me what to do... It's just so controling; I don't like it! I like having the control!

But, does anybody even listen to me when I tell them what to do?

No... Well, Sirius didn't after I told him (in the weirdly named, aftergow of sex) we were going to be girlfriend and boyfriend, in 6th year. He said no; said he couldn't ruin such a good friendship.

Really though, he ruined it by seducing me with him god like charm and muscles that don't look like a wrestler (unfortunately), but look like those of a... boy?

No, no. Not a boy, a... peacock?

Why am I thinking of peacocks! I don't even like peacocks, and they are by no means, my favourite animal. Thats a rat incase you didn't know, a rat! Something that Pettigrew (non to kindly) stole of me.

And, yes. He did steal it off me, weather he knew it or not.

I s'pose his muscles are just muscles, not like anything really, but like him.

Did that make sense to you? It didn't to me.

Does it even matter! Sirius, wrecked our friendship when he stole my virtue, ripped apart my innocent _and _my heart, only to do it again a year later.

Not that he could take my virture, or my innocent afterwards. He did rip my heart though... well not exactly, but you get what I mean.

If you don't, I'm not explaining myself to you vultures.

Did I go off track?

Yeah, I think I did.

Lucius is the worst boyfriend ever! Or maybe he's the best, he is making me see things more clearly.

He tells me what to do, makes me follow him like a lost puppy (no reference to Sirius, what-so-ever), acts all possessive, doesn't let me copy his school work, doesn't let me see my friends and I know he's cheating on me with Narcissa Malfoy.

Yes, to be honest, I don't really care. Because, all this possessive, protective act is getting Sirius to look at me more, instead of ignoring me full stop. He looks up when Lucius tells me what to do, and his eyes follow me when I get carted off to sit at the Slytherin able. Maybe the fact that him looking at Lucius in anger as he flirts with Narcissa ,right next to me puts a smile on my face, but it's only because I know somewhere that he does care, and he does want to speak to me again.

Man, that was deep... for me anyway.

...A butterfly just flew into the window.

I think it's dead.

Theres a party going on in my head right now 'cause I'm terrified of butterflies.

Y'know, lately Sirius Black is the topic of everybody's convosations. It always is, like, but I never bothered to hear them before.

Why can't he just keep his head down; does he need so much attention?

Theres something in my eye... I think it's mascara.

What is going on with my head today?

...Why is Lucius looking at me like that? He looks angry... should I run?

Too late, he's already got me.

Wait, where the fudge is his taking me?

SOMEBODY GET MERLIN, HE'LL HELP ME!


End file.
